BOOK REVIEW: The Secret Lives of Baba Segis Wives by Lola Shoneyin

Note: this book was read and reviewed by me in January of 2024 on a previous site that no longer exists.

For weeks, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives has been collecting fictional dust on my digital shelf. I'd heard it’s hilarious, but I was never really in the mood for it. But with the new year just beginning, it's one of my goals is to read more books outside of romance, and a funny family drama seemed like a non-intimidating first step.

What a pleasant surprise it was! I wish I could clap my past self on the head for not getting to this sooner. My first thought, after setting the book down, or shutting down my e-reader, was ‘perfect book, no notes’.

So, I had to wait for the high to dull, before I could think rationally enough, to record my thoughts in a mildly legible way.

Overall, I have a ton of things to say. So buckle up.

Set in Ibadan, Nigeria, the secret lives of Baba Segi's wives centers around the household of Baba Segi, where calamity in the form of a fourth wife has just struck. When Baba Segi marries the university graduate Bolanle, his other three wives Iya Segi, Iya Femi, and Iya Tope, want nothing to do with her and her progressive ideas. Despite Bolanle's best efforts to make peace, they scheme to kick her out of the house.

And amidst intricate family politics, Bolanle also remains childless, prompting her to seek answers that eventually turn Baba Segi's patriarchal household upside down.

Content Warning: Extreme Misogyny, Sexual Abuse, Domestic Abuse, infertility, Abortion, Infidelity

A Colorful Cast

I had no idea what to expect from this book, but I certainly didn't expect to like it as much as I did. This is a story in which everything takes a backseat to the large cast of characters. Therefore, I believe there's no better place to begin this discussion than with the various characters that color this story.

The Pompous Husband

The book opens with Baba Segi, a pompous buffoonish man whose gut, is tightly linked to his mental state. Apparently, "anything that doesn't agree with his gut has a way of accelerating out of his digestive system". Even with three, now four wives, seven children, and enough money to support them, his current concern, and the cause of his recent stomach problems is that his fourth and newest wife Bolanle, is childless.

“Only Baba Segi’s armchair faced the TV directly; his wives (except Bolanle, who hadn’t earned her right to an armchair) kept their seats at the angle their husband insisted on.”

In those first chapters, I found Baba Segi repulsive.

His three wives already lived to serve him. His children worshipped the ground he walked on. And yet, he wanted more.

He wanted Bolanle, a university graduate.

He wanted to own her the way he owned everything else in his life. To parade her in front of his friends as his university graduate. And after that, he wanted to get her pregnant, and wasted no effort in trying to do so.

“Baba Segi only comes to deposit his seed in my womb. He doesn’t smile or tickle me. He doesn’t make jokes about my youth; he just rams me into the mattress.”

When his efforts do not naturally result in a child, he brings up going to a spiritual medicine doctor, the way he did when his first wife, Iya Segi, had similar issues. But Bolanle refuses, reasonably. At last, he agrees to go with her to the hospital.

This starts a chain of events that eventually turn the household upside down.

Lola Shoneyin spares no words in portraying Baba Segi as the disgusting, misogynistic man that he is.

“Desperate to return to the center of attention, Baba Segi leaned onto one buttock and let out an explosive fart.”

The Naive New Wife

By the time Bolanle's perspective is introduced, I was eager to understand why she married a man who would be objectively bad, even if he didn't already have three wives.

But Bolanle does not decide to marry him on a whim.

“I came to get away from the feeling of filth that followed me. If I stayed at home, I knew the day would come when Mama would come to my room and find pools of blood at my wrists.”

She grew up under immense pressure from her mother to be the best, but all of that crumbled after a traumatic event as a teenager.

Since then, she has struggled to see herself as whole, and to reconcile her thoughts about herself with her mother's expectations of her.

She has been fighting a losing battle with herself, and marrying Baba Segi seems like her way out.

It is through Bolanle's eyes that I see polygamy in another light. In a perfect world, it might not be all bad.

“I chose this family to regain my life, to heal in anonymity. And when you choose a family, you stay with them. You stay with your husband even when your friends call him a polygamist ogre. You stay with him when your mother says he’s an overfed orangutan. You look at him in another light and see a large but kindly, generous soul.”

The wives have many children, and the children have many mothers. Where one wife drops the ball, the others can step in to help. In the absence of their own mothers, children can turn to their aunties for warmth and comfort.

I can see how it can be a beautiful, peaceful communal existence.

“One day, they will all love me. I will buy their affection with the money Baba Segi gives me if I have to! I will bring sweets home for the little ones. I will buy Akin a brand-new satchel and get Segi one of those new velvet hair bands to harness that wild mane of hers. I will be a big sister to her. I will tell her everything I know about the world outside so she doesn’t make the mistakes I made. One day, they will all accept me as a member of this family.”

But life isn't ideal. Baba Segi's household definitely isn’t. So, instead of gaining a new family and a place to belong, Bolanle gains only the animosity and jealousy of the other wives.

Bolanle's resilience is something else though. Despite everything that happens, she remains resolute and kind. It's almost naive.

“The more those two poked Bolanle, the more mercy her eyes showed, the more her hands opened to the children.”

The Crafty First Wife

“My husband only thinks he controls this household and I let him believe that he does. I want him to believe he does but I am the one who keeps this household together. Good things happen here because I allow them. I alone can approve vengeance and only I know how to bring calm.”

Iya Segi is Baba Segi's first wife, the clever matriarch of the household, who has Baba Segi's ear, in all matters.

Baba Segi may believe he's the head of his household, but Iya Segi is the one pulling the strings. She is just adept at making her husband believe that her ideas are his own.

“men are like yam — you cut them how you like.”

By refusing to accept Bolanle as a wife, she sets the tone for the other wives.

While I didn't like the things she did, somehow, I understand a woman carving out a place for herself in the world, and doing everything she can to protect that.

I do not condone her behavior, but I do understand her motivations.

Yet, for all her cleverness, she allows herself to be persuaded to carry out a foolish plan, and eventually pays a heavy price for it. She reaps the fruit of her labor, and has the fruit of her labor ripped from her, if you know what I mean.

The Timid Second Wife

Baba Segi's second wife, Iya Peju, is a kind but mousy woman, who only wants to live in peace, taking care of the children and tending to their hair.

She likes Bolanle and wants nothing to do with the plans of the other wives, but she has no backbone to refuse.

“Even now, when I try to say things, my mouth opens and closes like a fish waiting for a hook. I choke on words, I swallow them.”

In retrospect, maybe she does display some defiance, a quiet kind of determination, in the way she makes the best of what life gives her, and finds happiness, regardless of her sorry lot.

I just wish she turned some of that determination, against the other wives.

I kept hoping she'd stand up for herself, and for Bolanle.

My patience almost ran out before she eventually did.

“I fear for Bolanle but I am a coward. I know I should show Bolanle the arm of friendship. I should not pretend she is a stranger when the other wives are around. I should tell her to be careful but I can’t. I am afraid of these women. I will just keep quiet and watch.”

The Spiteful Third Wife

Iya Femi is Baba Segi's third wife, the true villain of the story, and the main instigator of all the chaos.

She's had to fight for herself from a young age and has seen all sorts of wickedness.

Sometimes, the abused does become the abuser, and that is admittedly unfortunate, but not an excuse.

“If God can delight in vengeance, how much more a poor soul like me who has been misused by the world? I must have revenge. Only then will I accept that there was a reason for all my suffering.”

She’s the only character I truly hated, and I think a big part of this, is the fact that the author did not give her enough retribution for her actions.

The Children

Baba Segi's children are the only bright part of the house.

Akin, Iya Femi's son, in particular, is my favorite. What a sweet boy! Even at 13, he's wise enough to not let his mother's attitude influence how he treats his new auntie, Bolanle.

If only Iya Tope had a fraction of his courage.

“It is a wonder that a good boy like Akin could have come out of Iya Segi’s belly.”

They All Somehow Grew On Me

By the end, when Baba Segi's household is in shambles, especially in the aftermath of tragedy, I couldn't help but pity them all.

Even Baba Segi somehow grew on me.

Maybe it's internalized misogyny from growing up in an inherently sexist country, but I found him to be morally gray rather than out-rightly bad.

When one of his children falls ill, his behavior is a revelation. Disgusting misogynist that he is, he is never cruel. He is a good father to his children and is never intentionally spiteful to his wives.

Even after his wives' secrets are revealed, he remains a good father to his children. After all, what is a father, if not someone who provides for you, cries for you, and loves you?

Ultimately, he is human, with the same failings as all the other men of his generation at the time. He is acting in the way the world taught him, worsened by a glaring lack of formal education.

Taju, the driver, says it best:

The only thing worse than a rich man is one who also seeks to be a good man.

The Plot. Or Lack Of.

There isn't much of one. There is a plot twist, I suppose, but if you've seen any Nigerian TV dramas, you'll probably see it coming. I certainly did.

But the story doesn't suffer for it.

Despite nothing much happening, it’s so well paced, that I had a hard time putting it down. Seriously, I was reading it while on shift at the hospital, and every time I had to see a patient, I was itching to return.

And when I had to take days off, because of work, my mind was on it constantly. I couldn't wait to get back.

Yes, some parts feel like side quests, for example, there's a bit about a bowl that ends up being stolen, and an entire passage in the driver's POV, but even these are fun to read.

I never felt like I was wasting my time.

The Writing

It surprised me.

The writing style is frank, direct, and very Nigerian, which I usually don't enjoy.

However, this story flows smoothly, tickling me with familiar similes and proverbs.

Ms. Shoneyin tells the story in a non-linear way, switching between third person and first-person POV, to give us each person's perspective.

Not only do we get to know and understand their thoughts and motivations, but we also get to see how they came to be in Baba Segi's house, and how much they've had to sacrifice to afford their current lives.

By the end, the tone remains frank, direct, and Nigerian, but it feels like an expression of each character rather than just the author's writing.

This unique style, in my opinion, is one of this book's greatest assets. Not only does the author create some interesting characters, but she also takes us inside their heads, to let us connect with them.

Fertility As a Theme

Shoneyin’s take on fertility in this book might seem heavy-handed to non-African readers. You may find Baba Segi's fixation with Bolanle having children ridiculous, but although the culture is very gradually changing, over here, children might as well be the only prize of living.

As a woman, you exist to marry, and you marry to have children. Without children, you might as well not be married. And without marriage, you might as well be dead.

With this rhetoric in mind, and already being insecure about the obvious disparity between their educational levels, Baba Segi was trying to cement his marriage to Bolanle with a child.

Sadly, even in modern times, when couples have fertility issues, many automatically assume it to be the woman's fault, just as the gender of the children is also assumed to be the woman's responsibility.

Unfortunately, I've found that this often has more to do with people being deliberately obtuse, than actual ignorance.

“A real woman must always do the things she wants to do, and in her own time too. You must never allow yourself to be rushed into doing things you're not ready for.”

Education Does Not Equal Morality

Except for the doctors, all of the men in this story are sexist pigs. There should be at least one uneducated man, who isn't misogynistic.

I have no trouble believing that in that period, the majority of men, were as portrayed in this book. Even in this day and age, I find myself arguing against similar misogynistic philosophies almost weekly.

However, there were and continue to be men who do not subscribe to such philosophies, and it would be nice to have that represented.

I also don't like how everyone who lacks formal education is represented as either disgustingly ignorant, or plain evil.

There are many types of education, and there is value in all forms. A lack of formal education, does not breed evil, and I hate the slight implication that it might.

The Anticlimactic Ending

After all of Iya Segi and Iya Femi's plotting, the way they lose their fight and confess their wrongdoings feels anticlimactic.

Even worse, the key villain Iya Femi, comes out practically unscathed.

Bolanle's Miraculous Discovery of Self-Esteem

In the final chapters, she declares her self-esteem restored. How? When? Did I miss something?

I vaguely noted a slight shift after she reveals the truth about her assault to her mom, but almost immediately after that, Baba Segi's household unravels, and there's hardly another relevant chapter in her POV.

Yet, somehow, in the midst of all of that chaos, she apparently manages to find her self-esteem.

Good for her, but it doesn't sound believable.

“Don’t think I can’t see the challenges ahead of me. People will say I am a secondhand woman. Men will hurt and ridicule me but I won’t let them hold me back. I will remain in the land of the living. I am back now and the world is spread before me like an egg cracked open.”

Final thoughts

Plot 3/5

Character 4/5

Writing 4/5

Theme 4/5

Overall, I enjoyed this story. I thought that this kind of Nigerian vibe wouldn't appeal to me, especially since I haven't enjoyed similar books in the past, but in the end, the characters trumped everything, as they always do.

I applaud Shoneyin for crafting characters who are unlikable, yet nuanced enough to empathize with.

I found it unexpectedly meaningful.

The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives played out like a TV drama, complete with an ironic ending and an obvious lesson. It's a book that draws humor and tragedy together in an unexpectedly meaningful way.

It left me feeling happy and inspired.

And now, days later, even though the initial high has worn off, I'm still thinking about this book with warmth.

I give it 4 stars.

Who Is It For?

I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a good laugh. It does help if you're African or at least familiar with African literature.

Just keep an eye on the content warnings.

“The choices we have to make in this world are hard and bitter. Sometimes we have no choices at all.”