BOOK REVIEW: Yinka, Where is Your Huzband? by Lizzie Damilola Blackburn

Note: this book was read and reviewed by me in June of 2023 on a previous site that no longer exists.

I started this story anticipating a rom-com. I’ll be honest. I didn’t do much research before deciding to read and review this book. I literally went on #bookstagram looking for a rom-com about Nigerian characters and picked this on a whim because of the intriguing title and colorful cover.

I did, however, read a Goodreads summary that listed it as a rom-com, a love story that ‘makes you smile but also think’.

I was halfway through when I realized that I had been catfished.

So, I would first like to correct this misconception. This book is neither a love story nor a rom-com.

"Yinka, where is your huzband?" follows Yinka as she faces the realities of being a single Nigerian woman in her 30s. At the age of 31, she could tolerate, even ignore, the pitying looks and whispers about her singlehood. However, when her mother’s quiet urging turns into public humiliation, Yinka knows that she has to act. She needs a man, and would get one by any means, even if it means losing herself in the process.

A Clever Title, Conversational Writing and Relatable Concepts

The intriguing title drew me in. It’s amusing, clever, but most of all, relatable. A play on a question that many, dare I say, even most, unmarried Nigerian women over the age of 25 (me) have heard at least once (or twenty times) throughout their lives. This title sets the tone for the rest of the book.

Lizzie Damilola Blackburn’s writing is witty and conversational, even funny at times. It reads more like a debrief from a friend than anything else.

Though the backdrop of modern UK is unremarkable, I found it fascinating and strangely comforting to discover that Nigerian families in the Diaspora could be just as insufferable as they are in the motherland.

Yinka

Yinka is a great main character. She’s relatable, not just because of her uncomfortably familiar experiences but also because she’s very flawed. Yes, there are external pressures from her mother and all her ‘aunties’ to find a husband, but it's really her own internal desires that drive her. She wants a man. But it’s more than that. She wants to be wanted by a man. These desires tangled with insecurities formed from childhood and reinforced through failed relationships pushes her to change herself into what she believes is the ideal woman. While this isn't much of a plot, Yinka and all her internal and external struggles were enough to keep me turning the page.

By now, you can probably tell that I liked this story. Maybe you can also tell that I wanted to love this story, not just because of Lizzie’s writing but also because it is truly a relatable and important story that deserves the spotlight. But many elements fell short for me.

“You need to define who you are. Otherwise, people will happily do it for you.” ― Lizzie Damilola Blackburn, Yinka, Where Is Your Huzband?

Yinka's Unbelievably Immature Behavior

I love Yinka, but she feels immature for a thirty-year-old woman. As someone without a job, she has her priorities a bit messed up. Her ramblings about her potential love interests eventually start to feel very childish. Even if she hasn’t had relationships before (and she has), she should have at least learned about them through her friends, many of whom are married or engaged, or even through movies and books. Some of the conclusions she comes to just seem so bizarre.

A Less Than Stellar Cast

If Yinka is like a paintbrush's uneven strokes, the rest of the cast are just haphazardly connected lines. Their appearances only hint at personality. All of Yinka's acquaintances, family members, and potential partners, including the one we can infer to be end-game are flat and one-dimensional. Each of them have only one or two traits that define their entire personality. No nuances whatsoever.

Except for Nana. She has a little more flavor to her. Unfortunately, it's a flavor I didn't quite care for. I found her annoying and judgmental. Rather than being a listening and supportive ear to her friend who is obviously going through a rough patch emotionally, she dramatically holds an uncalled-for intervention.

In general, all the characters and the relationships between them feel shallow.

Poorly Executed Themes

There are a few that I enjoyed. Self-love and loyalty to oneself are probably the most obvious, but body image, colorism, family dynamics and the importance of therapy also come through.

Be warned though, these themes are at times poorly executed. For example, Yinka's insistence of natural hair, bare face and poorly fitting clothes and dismissal of weaves, make up, stylish clothes bothers on snobbery. Not having your hair or make up done does not make you a better person. None of that reveals says anything about how good of a person you are.

Also, the advocacy for therapy was so heavy in some parts that it felt like an ad. And not a true one either. Problems carried from childhood don't magically disappear after one therapy session. Well, not unless you're Yinka of course. All her problems just sort of wrap up after one session. Must have been one helluva therapist.

“I realize how freeing it is to say what I think. To stand up for myself. I realize how much less of an effort it is to be my authentic self, as opposed to trying to be someone else. I love this feeling.” ― Lizzie Damilola Blackburn, Yinka, Where Is Your Huzband?

The Drawn Out Scenes

While the pacing is good overall, the intro feels drawn out with many unnecessary details. For example, in the opening scene, the prayers don't need to be detailed for us. A general idea and a few sentences would suffice. The end also drags, despite Lizzie’s entertaining writing. To be honest, I didn’t feel like sitting through her entire therapy session, no matter how transformative it turned out to be.

Being Catfished

The final troubling aspect is something I hinted at earlier. It has nothing to do with the story itself but the way this book is being marketed. I found this listed as a rom-com, which is misleading. There is little actual romance happening, and there is no Happily Ever After or Happy For Now. There is only a faint hint of a new relationship, but considering how little screen time this new relationship had (limited to less than 15% of the entire story), who knows if it will work out. With Yinka's track record, I'm definitely not putting money on it's success.

Final Thoughts

In general, Lizzie Damilola Blackburn's charming novel "Yinka, Where Is Your Huzband?" is a sweet story of self-discovery.

Prose/Style: 4 stars for obvious reasons.

Character: 3 stars. Even though I liked Yinka, the other characters just weren't as compelling.

Plot: 3 stars. There isn't much of a plot at all.

Themes: 3.5 stars. They were important but didn't quite land perfectly.

Overall, this story earns a 3 out of 5 from me.

I enjoyed it, but would I read it again? Probably not. Would I think about the characters and the story for weeks, days, or even hours after? Probably not. But maybe this is why it’s the perfect beach, holiday, or summer read.

Who is this for?

I recommend this book if you want a quick read about a relatable character coming into her own. If you're, however, looking for a sweet romance, be warned that you will be very disappointed.

“I’m responsible for my happiness.” She presses a hand to her chest. “I would have lived my life disappointed if I had not known that happiness is a choice. Do you know what would be even more disappointing?”― Lizzie Damilola Blackburn, Yinka, Where is Your Huzband?