BOOK REVIEW: Stay With Me by Abayomi Adebayo

Note: this book was read and reviewed by me in July of 2023 on a previous site that no longer exists.

If you're a reader, you've probably experienced that awkward moment when you realize that you did not like a book that everyone else is gushing about. This is that moment for me. Don't cancel me, okay?

I am self-aware enough to recognize how superficial I am. I may not care about a book’s reviews or awards, but I’m easily swayed by a pretty cover and an interesting title. It must be the creative in me. Ayobami Adebayo's Stay with Me was no exception. I was sold on the book even before I turned to read the blurb. I was immediately drawn in by the cover. A quick scroll on Bookstagram told me it was well-loved, and the Goodreads summary assured me it would be a celebrated, unforgettable read so I took a chance.

I don’t know about being celebrated, but I do know that in the coming days, I'll be doing my best to forget.

Stay with me, Ayobami Adebayo’s debut novel tells the story of Yejide and Akin, who meet in college against the backdrop of a politically turbulent Nigeria. It is love at first sight, and a whirlwind romance leads to a blissful marriage. Four years into their marriage, however, they are childless despite prayers, rituals, treatments, and trips to miraculous mountains. Under pressure from family members, a new wife is abruptly thrust into their lives, starting a chain of desperate events that threatens all that they hold dear.

Trigger: death of a child, infidelity, murder, death of a parent, chronic illness

False advertising

First, despite what it is labeled, this book is NOT a romance. It is a story about love and sacrifice, but there’s nothing romantic about it. There are no belly-churning flutters. No toe-curling giddiness. Instead, it is about a love that becomes broken, shattered, and torn apart.

Writing I couldn't get into

Adebayo’s writing matches the mood of the story— too well, in my opinion. It is straightforward and to the point. There are no words wasted on florid descriptions. In any other story, this would be a plus, but it makes this story that much harder to get through. There is no clever wordplay to distract from the heavy themes. There is too much telling and too little showing.

Of course, some will make the argument that this style best portray the gravity of the heavy topics. And maybe, they're right. But for me, the writing simply lacks a certain flair that, until this book, I did not realize I preferred.

Plot teetering on Melodrama

The story itself is a rollercoaster. We are thrust into the action as soon as the story begins. The first scene, which takes place 14 years in the future, feels urgent. This piqued my curiosity.

From there, the plot builds, alternating between past and present and between Akin and Yejide’s POVs. I actually liked this form. It kept things from getting monotonous.

The plot points are brow-raising, but as someone born and raised in Nigeria, none of them are truly shocking. They echo the stories of many Nigerians. But while in reality, one may experience many tragedies throughout their life span, having so many of them in the same story only make for an incredibly theatrical storyline. Too many things happen too quickly to feel realistic.

Highly Unlikable Characters

Since the writing is plain and the plot melodramatic, that leaves the characters with the sole responsibility of carrying the story. And they carry it well—at first.

They are complex and flawed. They make mistakes—serious ones, even unforgivable ones. They have all the makings of fully-developed characters. 

Take Yejide for example. At the start of the story, we’re immediately sorry for her as she faces her worst nightmares, a second wife. A slap in the face of all her efforts for a child, a confirmation of what she perceives as her failure as a woman. We feel her pain, heartbreak, jealousy, and confusion.

At that point, just a few pages in, I didn’t know what to make of them. Akin, who gives me the ick from the very beginning, and Yejide, who is losing herself to save a relationship that is obviously doomed from the start.

Many times, I wanted to shake some sense into both of them.

But, as the story unfolds, it becomes clear that neither their relationship nor my affection for them can be salvaged. They are simply unlikeable.

I don’t find the choices they make to be sensible or convincing—especially because many of them are made by Akin, whose personality is never explored beyond the surface. Even though we view several parts of the story through his eyes, from the first time he meets Yejide in college, until the end of the novel, he comes across as a shallow, weak caricature of a man.

Then there's Dotun. He seems like a shadow drawn solely to fill a gap, dropped into the story to fulfill one purpose, and then quickly removed once his task was complete. He embodies no other characteristics than those needed to fulfill this role.

None of them undergo any kind of growth.

It made it difficult for me to empathize with them.

By the time the final pages came around, all I had left for them was pity. The kind that left a nasty aftertaste. Like listening to the news on television but not connecting with the victims.

By that point, I didn't really care about what happened to them. I just wanted the story to end so I could start to breathe again.

An Emotional Rollercoaster

Adebayo definitely deserves credit for creating characters that I liked, hated, pitied, and ultimately wanted to get rid of. I haven't felt so many different emotions for fictional characters in a long time.

Atmospheric Setting and Important Themes

I enjoyed the tense political backdrop against which the plot is set. The country is in turmoil, yet life goes on as usual. It is a mirror of modern-day Nigeria.

I also appreciate Adebayo's willingness to tackle heavy themes such as fertility, parenthood, and Sickle cell disease, which are not discussed enough. Even though we only know them for about 20 pages collectively, those children, lost to Yejide, are likely the only likable characters in the story. Children who will never truly be known by their world, who will never be mourned.

A Complex Ending

Despite feeling way too long, the book is actually a quick read that I finished in only a few hours. The ending can be seen as hopeful, happy, or sad, depending on your perspective. I suppose I enjoyed this sort of complex ending.

Or maybe I was just more than ready to say goodbye to the characters. Truly, I was so eager for the end that I sped through those last pages.

Now, as I'm reflecting on the story, I can't help but wonder what I was supposed to take away from the book. Because the characters do not grow through the story, it feels like I did not grow. It feels like I gained nothing. Hours of pain just for the sake of it.

An Important Story

It's a good story overall, but more importantly, it is a story that reflects the reality of many Nigerian women, even now.

I didn’t like the characters, but I also don’t think they are meant to be liked. Like most people in real life, they just are. Existing unapologetically without caring for my opinions.

Final Thoughts

You Guessed It. I didn’t like this book. I feel duped by the entire bookstagram that assured me that I would enjoy this. But I can recognize that taste is subjective.

Writing/Style/Prose: 3/5

Characters: 2/5

Themes: 4/5

Plot: 2.5/5

At the risk of getting canceled, I rate this book 2.5/5 stars.

I don’t have pleasant memories of this book. It tried too hard to be so many things at the same time that it fell short of the one thing it should have been, realistic.

The cast was too weak to carry the themes. This is the greatest failing of the story. It turned what should have been a profound story into one that was just plain sad.

Who Is It For?

While it is not for me, I believe fans of fiction with strong themes could enjoy this.